Starting College Again: A Benchmark

  • 1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? I’ve been tossed into a completely new environment almost completely alone. That tends to be a little confusing.
  • 2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? Sometimes 
  • 3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Not at all
  • 4: Do you find it easy to trust others? I feel I’m generally a good judge of character of who I can and cannot trust. 
  • 5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? Drunk at a house party 
  • 6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Someone who knows where they’re going and is strong enough to carry my drunk self hahaha.
  • 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? I don’t want to think about it.
  • 8: Are you close with your dad? I’m not.
  • 9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Hehe yes.
  • 10: What are you listening to? Stay (Wasting Time) DMB surprise surprise 
  • 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Crystal Light Iced Tea.
  • 12: Do you like hickeys? I mean, walking around with a big hickey isn’t exactly the classiest thing, but they can be fun I suppose. 
  • 13: What time do you go to bed? Between 12:30 and 1:30 usually.
  • 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not anyone that’s in my life anymore.
  • 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Nope.
  • 16: Do you always answer your texts? Not always, sometimes I really suck.
  • 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? No.
  • 18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Today
  • 19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Yes
  • 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Wow, I’m so lucky. And drunk. 
  • 21: Is anyone else in the room with you? Yup, my roommate.
  • 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? I do. 
  • 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? Very very much so.
  • 24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? I don’t think so.
  • 25: In the past week, have you cried? Hah yes. Yes I have.
  • 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? White.
  • 27: Do people ever call you by your last name? Nope
  • 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Peter maybe but that’s not unusual.
  • 29: Do you have a best friend? A few!
  • 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? That would be miserable.
  • 31: Who was your last call from? Ryan
  • 32: Are you mad at anyone? No
  • 33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yes
  • 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 21
  • 35: How many more days until your birthday? Lots. 
  • 36: Do you have any summer plans yet? Camp. Roadtrip to Montreal?
  • 37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Most are of the opposite sex.
  • 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Ryan is kind of a secret.
  • 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Not that I can think of.
  • 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No
  • 41: Do you think age matters in relationships? It all depends.
  • 42: Are you available? I’m not! Wahoo!
  • 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 2.
  • 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Well, I already have my nose. Besides that, I guess maybe my belly button but ugh no.
  • 45: Do you believe exes can be friends? I do. 
  • 46: Do you regret anything? Regrets are silly
  • 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Ugh I have to wake up early tomorrow and how am I going to find my classes and who am I going to eat lunch with WHEN AM I GONNA MAKE FRIENDS
  • 48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Who hasn’t
  • 49: Was your last kiss a mistake? Not at all
  • 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I am! 
  • 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Yes
  • 52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yes
  • 53: What was the last thing you ate? Icecream yumyum
  • 54: Did you get any compliments today? HE THINKS I’M CUTE
  • 55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Hah vacation….
  • 56: Do you own anything from other countries? America imports everything
  • 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? Guys
  • 58: Where have you lived most of your life? MA
  • 59: When was the last time you took a long drive? To Rochester, NY in November
  • 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Never seriously
  • 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? No
  • 62: Who do you text the most? Ryan, Tiffany, my mom
  • 63: What was the last movie you saw? Django
  • 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Why would I ever think about this haha I don’t know, because they don’t like them anymore and don’t want to be with them I would assume?
  • 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 1
  • 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? No
  • 67: Do you curse around your parents? Yes
  • 68: Are you happy with where you live? Hahahaha its a toss up
  • 70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? Honestly, I don’t believe that humans are monogamous by nature, so it’s a very complicated thing. But I am in a monogamous relationship as are most people in the world
  • 71. Have you ever been dumped? Yes
  • 72. What do you most like about making out? Comfort, being held and touched by someone you care about, the sweet sex that could possibly come after it hahahah
  • 73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Yes
  • 74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Mix of both, usually the other I’d say. 
  • 75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? I love hair and shoulders and eyes
  • 76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Ryan 
  • 77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? No!
  • 78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? God no
  • 79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Boys hehehehe
  • 80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Depends what point I’m at in my life.
  • 81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yes
  • 82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Not usually
  • 83. Do you miss your last sweetie? No
  • 84. Last time you slow danced with someone? I don’t even know
  • 85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? No
  • 86. How can I win your heart? Make me laugh, call me cute. Pretty simple.
  • 87. What is your astrological sign? Leo
  • 88. What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Drunk
  • 89. Do you cook? Hardly
  • 90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes
  • 91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? n/a
  • 92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I fall pretty quick
  • 93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Tall, nice hair, bright face
  • 94. Name four things that you wish you had: Friends at college, my kitty, my own apartment and warm weather.
  • 95. Are you a player? No
  • 96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yes whoopsies
  • 97. Are you a tease? Hahaha definitely sometimes
  • 98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? No
  • 99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes
  • 100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? No I don’t talk to anyone on tumblr
  • 101. Hugs or Kisses? Gimmeboth
  • 102. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Most likely 
  • 103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair. Always hair. 
  • 104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? Yesyesyes
  • 105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? I wouldn’t not go for it….
  • 106. Do you flirt a lot? Yes
  • 107. Your last kiss? Ryan
  • 108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011? Yes
  • 109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yes
  • 110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Oh come on
  • 111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Yes
  • 112. Does someone like you currently? Yes
  • 113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? Yes
  • 114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? Serious
  • 115. Ever made out with just a friend? Yes
  • 116. Are you happier single or in a relationship? Relationship

girlandthefox:

From Blue Valentine

girlandthefox:

From Blue Valentine

Cups
Anna Kendrick

theywillseeuswaving:

Cups - Anna Kendrick

You’re gonna miss me by my hair
You’re gonna miss me everywhere, oh
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

sorry, but I can’t stop listening to this.

biologytextbook:

when someone taller than you hugs you and you kind of put your head on their chest and it feels really protective and warm like godamn if thats not the greatest shit in the world

Since the start I’ve 2012 I’ve…

her-dreams-into-plans:

Cross off what you’ve done: 

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam.
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl .
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.
Gone to see a therapist.
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan 
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober one on a night out.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week. 
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in my past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer. 
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

From Early 2011


1. Do you have a ‘thing’ with someone? no, sadly.

2. Do you have any hickeys/bruises on your body? i have a mysterious bruise on my arm and a few on my legs. who knows what they’re from.
3. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? absolutely.
4. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? zac.
5. Do you believe what goes around comes around? in the end, yes.
6. Where is your biological mother right now? back home.
7. Have you been to any concerts this summer? LUPE FIASCO. 
8. Have you ever been to a concert? yes indeed.
9. How many schools have you been to? 4.
10. What do your socks look like? i’m not wearing socks!
11. Have you ever read a Harry Potter book? the first two when i was like, 12.
12. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? nope.
13. Have you ever left America? yes.
14. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with L? no!
15. How many times have you cried in a person’s arms? lots, that’s not something that i keep track of.
16. Do you enjoy wearing dresses? thoroughly. 
17. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? sleeeeeeping.
18. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? NO STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT.
19. Have you broken the law in the last three days? yes.
20. What are you excited about? seeing all my boys from home this weekend!!
21. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? yes.
22. Is anyone ignoring you right now? zac. classic.
23. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted? lols, his girlfriend would probably not be too pleased.
24. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? not really. they’re shallow if anything.
25. When was the last time you threw up? two sundays ago.
26. Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to? Lilja.
27. How was the beginning of this year for you? aldkjshflkajsdhga.
28. How do you think the year will end for you? cvhbubldfhglauhgiuaj.

Today, December 20th, 2012


1. Do you have a ‘thing’ with someone? I’m not entirely sure. 

2. Do you have any hickeys/bruises on your body? Bruise on my knee.

3. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Who hasn’t?
4. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Ryan.
5. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Karma all the way.
6. Where is your biological mother right now? Upstairs.
7. Have you been to any concerts this summer? DAVE DAVE DAVE 
8. Have you ever been to a concert? Yes.
9. How many schools have you been to? Going on 7.
10. What do your socks look like? They’re a beige color.
11. Have you ever read a Harry Potter book? I read the first two when I was younger.
12. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? No. 
13. Have you ever left America? Yes.
14. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with L? Nope!
15. How many times have you cried in a person’s arms? Couldn’t tell ya. A bunch.
16. Do you enjoy wearing dresses? I do.
17. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Sleeping!
18. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Mwahahah YES.
19. Have you broken the law in the last three days? I stole a street sign yesterday!
20. What are you excited about? The end of the world/my activities planned for when the world doesn’t end.
21. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? Yes.
22. Is anyone ignoring you right now? Not that I know of….
23. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted? Maybe some day.
24. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? The beginnings of.
25. When was the last time you threw up? Last weekend (Dave hangover SO FUN)
26. Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to? Lilja.
27. How was the beginning of this year for you? Rough.
28. How do you think the year will end for you? A million times better.

"I think I’m in love with missing you more than I’m in love with you."
Sylvia Plath  (via lyrlouwho)

tonight was the first time i thought about you in a long time. like really thought about you. funny to think we were so convinced we were going to get married. summer before senior year was supposed to be ours. life does some pretty unexpected things to us. i don’t know whether to be happy or sad. i wish i could just sit and have a conversation with you though. the best part about sitting and thinking about you is that nothing but positive memories come to mind. and sure, we went through our fair share of issues. i don’t think i’ve ever fought with someone as much as you, but i believe that’s because we’re similar in a lot of ways. i also don’t think i’ve had a longer, more genuine friendship with anyone other than you. there have been a few times when i’ve looked back at that one text i have saved from you. it brings me back to that time when you ran up my driveway after me, pulled me in and kissed me. it seems unreal. it seems like it was straight out of a movie. but really, what i remember you as was my best friend. the one who was always there, who told me when i was being immature or stupid or needed to just suck it up, and no matter how mad i was at you, i knew you were right. you were honest, bold, funny, reliable, and the person who knew me when i didn’t know myself. i’m sorry i bombarded you with my impulsive emotions. you were right, i needed to learn to let go. i needed to let go of the 14 year old ryan who i fell for so quicky. i needed to understand that the 15 year old ryan who was wrapped up in feelings thinking we could work didn’t exsist anymore. i needed to forget 16 year old cute flippy hair ryan who believed we were going to get married. 17, almost 18 year old ryan has grown up. i unfortunately don’t know that boy, though i’m sure you’re still the down to earth, honest, charming, sarcastic person you always were. you were everything i valued in a friend. you always knew what to say. so, you may not still be the innocent flippy haired boy i fell for once upon a time, but i’m still glad i’ve had you in my life and value every memory.i can’t help but still have hope that one day we’ll talk again, and that i’ll get my best friend back. i can let the boy i used to know go, but i’m not going to let the memories go. i can’t, it’s part of who i am. but i can take them and learn from them. because after all, you are one in a million.

i miss you.

This is from October 9th, 2010. And I’m glad to say that things have changed for the better. As I read this, I was taken back to the sweet memories of him and what we once had. I always spoke about how our timelines never quite matched up and no matter how in love I was, it would never work out. I’m here to share that I have my friend back. He doesn’t have long flippy hair anymore, and I’m not sure if he still thinks we’re going to get married, but he’s still the charming, sarcastic, genuine boy I grew to love.

Senior year of high school through my freshman year of college, we talked on a friendly basis. At the beginning of college when I was having a tough transition, he invited my roommate and I to visit him at school on a whim, and we went. It was fun, but nothing special. After that, I didn’t see him or talk to him much for an entire year. Not because things went badly, I guess that’s just how it worked out. This November, now sophomores in college (though I am taking the semester off) our friend Brian’s best friend at college died. We had been talking more frequently before this happened, and when it did, we knew a road trip up to Brian was in order.

Our six hour drive to Rochester, NY was the first time we’d seen each other in over a year. We had a lot to catch up on, and we did just that, sharing stories of college and summer time, and getting to know the people we’d grown into during our time apart. While we’re there, I find out that I got accepted to UMass Amherst as a transfer student for the spring semester starting in January, meaning he and I will be going to college together. That night, I guess what happened between he and I must be said bluntly. We got drunk, we got high, we flirted and we had sex. And to top it all off, it was November 11th, 11/11. The night is still a little blurry, but what I do know is that it was nice to lay next to him again. Since that weekend, we’ve talked almost every single day. 

I don’t know what else to say except that it seems our bad luck with timing has taken a turn for the better. If nothing else, I’m glad to have my friend back. 20 year old Ryan makes me smile, and smiling makes the world a much happier place. 

tonight was a very big mistake on your part. i hope you’re proud of your decision to get drunk and ditch your girlfriend who you’ve spent very little time with who just found out her alcoholic poor excuse for a father got arrested for drunk driving. i’m so tired of trying so hard with little recognition and nothing in return and i’m tired of trying to fight the same battles with you since we’ve come home from school. i came home tonight and sobbed for three straight hours after slamming your car door without even making eye contact with you, never mind kissing or hugging you goodbye. and i waited all night long for a text or phone call from you. i didn’t even cross your mind. i’m so mad at you but i can’t stop fucking thinking about you. i hope your proud of the decisions you’ve made. i don’t know what to do because i don’t have much left to give.